Just curious if this is specific to the scene where I live, or if this is the case anywhere.

Something that always irritated me about the BDSM scene is how blatantly obvious so many straight men are about only being there to find a partner. Which is fine, but the way they go about it always leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.

I can't tell you how many times I have been talking one on one with someone at a munch (which takes me a lot of courage to do!), when a guy will come up to us, completely interrupt me, then start very obviously flirting with the person I was talking to while completely ignoring me and pretending I'm not there.

While I also go to munches in the hopes of finding a partner, I always make an effort to talk to everyone part of the circle/table/etc. I can't tell you how many times I've felt completely invisible trying to talk to people at munches, just because so many straight men will completely ignore the other men.