Sorry to disappoint, but she said it, it didn't happen, but she did say it.

I will admit that this is not the first time I have misunderstood my wife when it comes to anal, I will say that I am indifferent when it comes to anal, anal is something that has come up exactly twice in my 20 year marriage, both times was me misunderstanding my wife's actions, and she was very quick to shut that down, and going even further to say she will never do it.

I even remember the exact moment this was discussed both times, last time, my wife was not too happy that I even motioned it, this was 15 years ago, I figured this was clearly set in stone, was not a problem for me.

My wife is 43 now, she has been going through some changes, her libido has noticeably increased, and with it, her sexual preferences too.

My wife has always been submissive, but not like she is now, but some of this things have come up unexpectedly, bare in mind that her sexual preferences are changing much faster than I'm prepared, I have not caught up with her previous changes, so for her to throw something new is still difficult.

Its not that I have not done anything to try to meet her needs, she likes to be restrained, she also gets super turned on when I get on top of her, hold her arms down and fuck her mouth, its something that is now happening regularly, and I completely deny her as I do that, and she loves it, she likes her mouth fucked, I know she wants more, and I am working on that.

She has been telling me for a while that she wants me to be rougher, she has said multiple times that she wants me to hurt her, which I have not done, except that for the first time this weekend, on within a few minutes, she said "I want you to hurt me", "you can do anything you want to me", and she goes off talking on that, but she throws "you can fuck me in the ass", and a few minutes later while she is on top of me, she asked me "do you want to fuck me in the ass?"

I was left in shock, I didn't say anything because I quickly remember how she responded last time when this came up, the previous times that anal came up, was because of things she did that make me think she wanted anal, but this time, she said it, and she said it 2 times.

I would do it if this is what she wanted, but my doubts come from what was said 15 years ago.

Another important detail here is that there is a chance that she might be getting ideas from one of her really good friends, who has been very open with my wife about her sex life.

The reason that I think my wife might be getting ideas from this friend, is because this friend of hers is very open about some aspects of her sex life, one of them being that she sleeps with other men (and women), while her husband only sleeps with her. My wife is not bisexual, but my wife has said multiple times now that she wants me to find other men and for us to have sex with her at the same time, and she was quick to make it clear that she was not OK with me sleeping with other women, could be coincidence, or she took what she wanted out of what her friend does and wants to make it for herself. I am OK with this, and its something we have tried, and unfortunately its so far turned out to be more complicated than I thought.

How do I even go about this? Could it be that she doesn't really want anal, but she wants it as a form of submission? Or maybe she has moved on and wants anal? I know I should just ask her, but how she responded 15 years ago keeps putting doubts about what she might have meant.

I have never done anal, and as far as I know, my wife hasn't either, I might not know much (or anything) about it, but one thing I am certain that this is not something that just happens, its not like she could say that she wants me to fuck her in the ass, and it just happens, there is a way to do it, but it just doesn't happen like that.