I have a degradation kink, and I really get turned on from getting most mean comments. However, sometimes it feel like the men that message or comment truly believe I'm worthless or other things they say. On one hand, that's really hot, but on another, it's really difficult.

Yesterday, I had a lot of conversations with men online, and it was really sexy. However, I did start crying kind of randomly in the evening. I had to call my partner and talk with him for a while to calm down, and I really couldn't pin down what upset me. I worry that the constant degradation is really wearing me down.

I know from my experience in the irl BDSM community that aftercare is important, but I can't really get aftercare from random men online.

I think I just wanted to vent. Nonetheless, any advice is appreciated. Thank you.