Last 3 months (and upcoming december for sure) I've made plans, set things aside to attend and without fail something has come up. I really want to join the community, not just because of kink but since Covid hit I've drifted away from almost all my irl friends and I'm craving that human connection something fierce.

September? Mom goes to the hospital (not serious, just sudden) and needed someone to drive out to take care of her pets
October? Boss had me scheduled to work a double shift, which admittedly, was my fault for not noticing when the schedule was posted but they threatened a writeup if I left early.

November? Wrench my ankle and can't walk to the bus stop and it's too short notice to get there anywhere remotely on time.

December? Spending that Weekend with my extended family before Christmas

Just feels like when I'm finally ready mentally to spit in the face of my anxiety and take that first step, that anything that can go wrong is going to go wrong. It sounds stupid when I type it out but I can't help but feel like I'm running into a concrete wall over and over again. Not really sure what kind of advice I could get, but I just needed to get this off my chest since I just feel really frustrated at the moment.