My wife and I started playing as switches, her leaning sub and me leaning Dom. About a year in she came to me asking for a full 24 / 7 TPE D/s almost M/s dynamic after seeing it modeled by several friends at our club. I goggled and gobbled up everything I could read. I strive to be an ethical Dom to make sure that she was submitting for the right reasons ... basically fulfilling a need in her.
Wanting to fully understand her motivations, and why M/s is so attractive to her, we were talking about our sexual upbringing and experiences that shaped what we like. It was a "porch time" out of dynamic discussion.

She was talking about sneaking books out of her Dad's closet and being really turned on. She said it was about stealing people away, taken from cities, and being made slaves. She didn't remember the name, but it dawned on my given it was the 70's she was reading the Gorean series. Now all of her preferences and what she is looking for make TOTAL sense.

Experienced BDSM folks will say "Duuuh" but for those in the seeking / learning early stages know that there is gold in following the simple but regularly shared mantra of "Communicate, communicate, communicate".

Please share any other communications experiences that have been big in your dynamic.