My wife (sub) and I (Dom) have a 24/7 D/s relationship, free use and a highly charged bdsm sex life. She has a high pain threshold, and she really enjoys surrendering and feeling my power. We don’t get into scarring or long lasting bruising and it’s a big turn on for me to exert my strength via flogging, paddles, wax, restraints, degradation, etc.

As much as I enjoy it we do have a safe word and I respect her tolerance immensely, and am always checking in with her. So there’s a part of me that is sympathetic to her pain and know she is ultimately in control by allowing this to happen.

My curiosity is how other Doms or subs feel? I understand compersion, as we swing also. I’m curious what makes others tick and why subs crave the pain and submission and what pleasure other Doms get.