There have been a lot of post from cishet male Dominants complaining that there aren’t many available submissive women. I’ve argued that that isn’t true. It’s my belief that many of the available submissive women online don’t post and don’t respond to posts. My reasoning is that there are a lot of men who just don’t know how to treat women. Men who think that just because a woman is submissive it means she is automatically willing to following their commands. Men who bombard them with unsolicited messages. Men who get angry when they get rejected. This poor behavior has made trying to date hell for women. So they pull back. They don’t interact. Some even give up on trying to find a partner at all.

My first question is: If you are an available submissive woman, is this true?

Second: What is it that you actually want in terms of initial communication?

Third: What would make you feel more comfortable contacting someone on a dating site/app or posting a personal ad yourself?

Forth: How long have you been looking for a kink partner?

(Disclaimer: I realize that I’m basically asking submissive women to out themselves. If you do want to post either consider making a throw away account or choose not to. There’s a good chance there are lurkers who will jump at the chance to DM you. So if you do post you should expect it. That doesn’t make it ok. It’s not your fault if you do get messages. I’m only saying that I think it’s a good bet.)

Edit to add: This is by no means exclusive to any gender or roll. These things happen for lots of people. For the purposes of this post I just wanted to focus on this case.