My childhood was completely fucked up.

My mom was very mentally and emotionally abusive. My dad was physically abusive. My mom was a stay at home mom and she babysat out of our house. I got molested by a 15 year old at 5.

I literally got beat for telling my mom. She even went as far to tell me I was asking for it.

I’ve had so many traumas my body was tense all of the time. From suppressing so many things for so many years I carried all of that pain and agony in my shoulders and in my neck.

When I had my first “experience” it was a release I never felt before. My entire back neck body just popped. It was the greatest release.

I was able to work towards working through years of pent up trauma on my terms. It empowered me. It gave me such a voice sexually. It released years of demons. It puts me in the most vulnerable state. A state of where I know I have control. It’s the most gratifying soup for the soul. BDSM is a art. CNC is a antidepressant.