Hey everyone,
I'm currently feeling a bit discouraged about my experiences in meeting other kinky people hence my post - although I genuinely appreciate and respect the community.
I use platforms like FetLife (oh boy), Grindr (omfg), and Reddit (questionable) to connect with like-minded individuals. Lately, I've been particularly interested in exploring my submissive side, and I've been very upfront about this when posting for potential partners or casual meetings.
However, I've encountered a recurring issue. I often come across users who initially claim to be okay with me being submissive but later reveal that they prefer to switch roles. Sometimes, they only express their desire to be submissive in person or right before we meet. Alternatively, some users outright ask me to be their Dominant or to help them explore their Dominant side.
This situation is disheartening because it feels like my desires aren't being heard or respected. Perhaps many subs go through this. For context, I've been fulfilling the role of a Dominant for sexual partners for the past five years, mainly because I wanted to be a good partner. However, it's not something I personally enjoy. I've largely put a stop to it because I now know where my interests lie. There are probably only 1-2 people in the world with whom I enjoy switching roles and being dominant. My primary interest is in being submissive, and I'm clear about that.
To make matters worse, I've also received numerous low-effort and creepy responses (which, to some extent, I expected). Unfortunately, I've even encountered some insensitive and violent responses. For context, I identify as queer and AFAB (assigned female at birth).

That being said... I always meet some gems. But damn I have to conjure my inner miner and sift through a lot to find them :(
TLDR it's challenging to find partners, whether casual or otherwise, who share an interest in being dominant. I clearly state that I'm submissive but often encounter submissive men who want me to dominate them. It can be quite perplexing.
Thank you for taking the time to read my message :)