I (48M) am an Owner who has one non primary slave partner. We have been together for over a year now and it has been wonderful.

I have had erectile dysfunction for well over twenty years now and I won't say it hasn't been rocky at times but the partners I've had were very understanding and even accommodating. I know how difficult it can be and I am sure I am not the only one out there experiencing this.

A few ways I have been able to turn this into a more positive experience:

1. Acceptance. This is the most difficult part that I had during the years. It took me a long time to accept that this is who I am now. My ED is pretty severe in that none of the medications like viagra and such don't work at all for me. I have been to many doctors who have tried different things that just didn't work. I am currently expirementing with the trimix shots and have been able to achieve a limited amount of success with them. However, I have accepted that the ED will always be a part of me.

2. A massive amount of communication. I like to be upfront about it from the start. The rejection hurts when someone ghosts you right after finding out you won't be pounding them into next week, but when you find that one who can see past it...well...its a great feeling.

3. Keep an open mind. I have my thoughts and ideas on the type of dynamics I want to have however I have learned I needed to open my mind and broaden my scope of dynamics. I am an Owner and I'm always looking for primary slave partners but I have also enjoyed many other dynamics.

4. Foreplay, oral, and toy game. Lean into the skid!! I have learned that while I may not be the rock hard porn star who can devastate any hole...I am extremely capable of giving plenty of orgasms.

5. Trust your partner/partners. This one sucks, not going to lie on this one. I have gone the route of not saying anything about my ED until we were at a point in the dynamic that some trust had been built. It didn't take long for me to realize that was a mistake for me. I had mixed results for this one and it never really ended well. Hence why I say something at the beginning now, if they choose to stay then trust them to understand and work with you as well. Trust them enough to be open with them, to lay it all out for them and here it is...the real kicker...Trust them with your feelings!

6. Reassurance for your partner. Once you have gotten beyond the earlier stages in your dynamic and you are now ready to dive into the actual physical portion...this is the stage where I like to make it absolutely clear to my partner that in no way does my ED have anything to with my feelings towards them. They are not the cause of it and they are ALSO not going to fix it either.

Everyone who has ED has different experiences so please share your experiences so those of us who are new to ED can know they are not the only ones.

You are not alone!