I’ve come to realize I might be more of a sadist then I thought. I really like the idea of hurting people, I mean really like the idea of hurting people.

I want to one day cut someone open and watch them cry. I like watching human suffering and torture (though of course, I’d never genuinely hurt someone yk what I mean nothing that would cause serious harm) I do often worry if this makes me a bad person but I’m at a point where I could give less of a fuck at this point.

Though it is a bit crazy because I typically am so soft and submissive and masochistic but I really wanna see the tables turned and have my go at hurting someone. I do play the submissive role but I would love to get the chance to channel out these sadistic thoughts one day.

My issue is that I am weak. I look weak, am weak, and am very soft. I’m not strong or dominant by any means. I wish I was more dominant but I’m too insecure and weak to do anything about it, though it’s a fantasy id love to fulfill some day.