Ok so I often think about some things and I worry whether or not I’m bad for it. I’m almost certain I’m into gore or at least some type of cutting fetish.

I had a self harm problem for a while and found that after I got over the depression, I started doing it purely because I liked how it felt, which eventually lead to me getting turned on by it.

And I’d watch videos of others cutting and I liked it, though I usually had to be careful with this, didn’t wanna just sit and enjoy someone else’s real and genuine suffering yk?

But that’s the thing. I was into this stuff for a while and honestly I worry this might be a sign that I have something seriously wrong with me.

I often think of scenarios where me and my partner are cutting eachother but not just pretending to cut but like actually cutting.

And ik self harm is bad but I often debate doing it again because I wanna feel those thing again. (But I’ve been self harm free because I started to concern my family and honestly I don’t want people thinking it’s a depression thing when it really is not)