I'm not the best writer so be patient with me and my typos/grammatical errors. I couldn't sleep last night and 3am brain induced this. Didn't know where to share so here we are. Men and women more than welcome to share their perspectives.

I get off on shame because it forces women to come face to face with their own desires.

I feel like women are in this strange place where they are forced to be aware of sex from a very young age but discouraged from engaging with it, even when they're of age.

They're often told that much of their worth is tied to "how" they open their legs. Almost like walking around with a back pack full of money.. every time they engage with it, it's like they're handing out some of that money. Decreasing their perceived worth unless that "money" is going to something everyone else sees as valuable.

I think it creates this mindset where there has to be justification for them to engage with sex or express desire for it. It really has to be "worth" it. You as a man or person have to be worth it.

Beyond trauma and things of that nature (that adds a layer of complexity that I dont have the knowledge or experience to discuss properly). I believe this is where the desire for harder kinks comes from. You'd be surprised how many women have an interest in things like cnc and rapeplay. Even when they've had zero experience with sex, good or bad.

Even if they don't explicitly like those two kinks.. there's often an interest in things like chocking, spanking and generally rougher sex.. especially when they like you.

Like they're expressing their agency but maybe at the same time they aren't taking full ownership of the act. Instead, it's framed like something is happening to them.. even though they want it. Does that make sense? 🤔

Because someone else has opened that backpack and taken something out.. it's not like they've lost anything of their own volition. Maybe they fucked like a slut but it's because they were made to be one.. not because they're accepting that they are one deep down.

That's where shame comes in for me. I don't want to give them that out. The more they acknowledge what it is they're feeling, the greater the shame.. the greater the release.

Have you ever made someone you're having sex with/fucking, look at themselves in the mirror during the act? It doesn't always happen but sometimes it's like a trance will come over them. Like they've come face to face with that nasty side of themselves which they've been told their entire lives they have to deny.

Sometimes they'll look away but if you really make them look at what's being done to them and how much they enjoy it.. it's wonderful to see and feel.

Maybe a little bit she'll feel like a whore but maybe a little bit she'll accept that the feeling is okay for now.

Of course this isn't all women but it is a slight trend I notice with a good few.