We met on a bdsm site of our country. I don't really know why he was registered there because he had never been anything like "24/7 Dom" or needed BDSM to be a part of his life. He had always been pretty light in sex. He acts like a vanilla that likes the sex to be a bit more harsh, while I've always been a keen sub. I love pain, degradation and humiliation, I love to be used. He has always cared too much of how not to offend or injure me. And I've told him multiple times that if something goes wrong I will definitely tell him. That I can handle x5 pain to what I feel.

(Example: I want to be denied to cum and be edged so much taht I become a desperate fucktoy while he just says yes when I ask his permission to cum)

We've been together for three years. And I wasn't mentally well for the past 1,5 years. And we've had little sex in our life all this time.

But now I feel this desire again. I feel that I need all those dirty things that I've always loved. I need to be his pain slut. I want him to abuse and degrade me, to finally act like a Dom and not like a caring husband in our bedroom.

I'm pretty shy when it comes to talking about my sex desires. I don't know how to tell him about all these things. How to start. What to say.

I know that there must be people out there with the same problems. I need an advice. Please help me.