I [27F, Switch] have been presented with the opportunity to dom a guy [30, Switch] that I’ve known for about 10 months. We used to work together so I got to know him pretty well before he quit two months ago. We’ve joked before about him subbing a while ago when he found out I was into bdsm things, but last night we breached the subject for real and he wants to sub for me.

It’ll be both of our first times in an official play dynamic. My general personality is either nonchalant or completely dominant, but not really submissive. Like many switches I’ve heard of, submission only even crosses my mind when I truly trust someone in a general sense to be in control. He’s kinda the opposite though. He’s best described as a naughty cinnamon roll lol A naturally golden-retriever “happy to please” personality type. He also has a very bratty side. But he’s also said he’s often more dominant in bed.

He and I are both inexperienced at this in practice. But I’ve been researching bdsm for a pretty long time, to the point that I started going to a lifestyle club to get comfortable and find experienced potential play partners in a safe, moderated environment. I’ll be walking him through all the important things before we kick things off.

As this Reddit group has been a great resource to learn, I wanted to ask if there were some things anyone could identify that you kinda just didn’t know that you didn’t know, until you had the occasion for an issue to arise. What was it and how did you handle the situation and come up with ways to avoid it moving forward?

An example of this that I could think of off the top of my head is non-verbal cues to stop when a sub may forget to use safe words.

Alternatively, feel free to share any happy accidents have you stumbled upon!