I made other posts but i only am puzzling things together and id appreciate feedback, opinions etc.

To clearify first... Im in a happy romantic relationship with a mostly vanilla person, i can explore bdsm online and i have for about a decade now. No irl stuff is a hard limit for this, so pls keep that in mind.

My question is as above. Is it possible that somehow being with someone has broken a part of my mind somehow and what can i do to fix it? Like the naughty saying of "i ll corrupt you for all men to come" that i never taken seriously. But right now thats how i feel? And it sucks.

I been with a dom that really scratched that primal sub need but was not a good overall fit for me or capable to take up the role of a dom in the way id needed. I am now with someone way more capable and trustworthy. However...

My mind is just never going to sub space or arousal or any of these. I really enjoyed the debths of the subspace i only discovered with my prev partner. I knew the feeling before, it just been way more intense with this person.

And now im incapable of feeling that mindset at all. I considered the option that my new partner may not do their part in a way that works for me but we talked about it and i feel like they do it all right, yet its not working.

Sometimes i feel like maybe there is a bit of that energy going on. Its like a fainth feeling i try to hold on but the big majority of the time i feel absolutely nothing. Its frustrating and i feel guilty about it too.

A speculation was that im not over my past partner but how do i know if thats the cause and what is the fix for it? (Btw im autistic and my relationships are always a bit odd)

I dont feel like i miss them. I respect the time we had of course. They hurt me but overall im not devastated or surprised. We split paths and its for the better. I trust this person fully, even more than anyone before. I done way more kinky stuff with them too. I done it out of my pleasing nature and my desire to be a good sub. But truly never out of passion or a subspace mentality. But i done it and i do not regret it.

I read "horror posts" here all the time and i realize how lucky and priviledged i am. Even more reason to find a way to feel properly greateful and happy is it not?

Ask ahead if you want me to elaborate on anything.