The title already says it... I have a romantic relationship with a vanilla person. He tries and he is sometimes open for education, but he is demisexual with a low sex drive and with little interest in BDSM. He tries to incorporate elements but knows that he cant meet my sexdrive or the level of kink im into.

That is why he has given me permission to explore this interest online. And through the years i did have a few nice doms that made me more confident in what i like and dislike. I had doms that would control my everydaylife choices (what i wear, eat, when i do what, where i go or not go to) and that was a lot of fun. I currently have a dom thats more on the sexual side but makes me very happy in regards to feeling a sub.

Right now i would really like to find another everydaylife bdsm partner. But im struggling. I feel like it was easier a few years ago to find someone. Right now i run into a lot of young inexperiences guys or people who just want nudes and dont really care about BDSM at all. What are some platforms/chats to find a serious partner?

Other advice for online BDSM relationships?

Additionally, any other suggestions how i can explore this in a safe way?

My partner doesnt want me to engage with people IRL, which i wish to respect. Even though im sad i will never get to experience "real BDSM" (rough play, bondage, spankings).

What would be a good compensation or opportunity to go further? I know some photographers offer bondage as part of a photosession but im curvy and been repeatedly turned down and told i need to be a size 38/40EU. (Ouch) So maybe there are more "odd" options i just didnt consider ?

Also i worry about people connecting my face and name to my kink leading to me losing my job.

All that said im not even enthusiastic about going to events myself. Im highly introverted and much better in 1:1 vs social group interactions. I can engage with people if i put on my "work personality" but then people dont get to know the "real me". And at best i could watch people have what i will never have and id probably just cry.

Thank you for reading so far! Looking forward to your ideas.