Im embarassed to ask this ngl. I have issues with emotions, lots has to do with trauma and another bit with the usual social pressure... Anyway.

I think i caught too many feelings for my casual dom. I never felt this way with any other dom. Our plays are amazing, but i feel like im missing something.

Im a very reserved person and bdsm helps me be myself, allow physical touch, letting me show emotions etc... Everytime we play i feel like im allowing myself to be more myself, more honest, more vonurable. And its fun. So much fun. But in general i feel like he isnt as invested, doesnt care, doesnt make me feel safe enough. I want it to be a regular thing, commitment etc. I think he says he likes me as a person, but he is just in for the sexual part. Am i paranoid or...?

Honestly i do not even know what to actually ask for outside of the broad "please be kind to me, show me affection"

I never felt this way with any person. And the more i care, the harder it is to open up because i have abandoment issues. We been playing for nearly two years. I dont know if im asking for too much suddenly? Currently its kinda casual nsfw fun every now and then. And he doesnt talk to me as a friend anymore at all, its just the d-s dynamic talk.

I feel like i have made this need kind of clear but he says he is trying his best already and is simply busy... I am not sure how to approach this topic or what to ask for!

And this is all purely digital (for now anyway) because we live really far apart. So aftercare and all is difficult.

Dunno maybe im just being unreasonable and ya all are gonna tell me to grow up