So [I 39M] have always taken the Dom role because it has been expected of me when we move at all beyond vanilla sex but lately i've been thinking of things I've said and done and even thought in the past and realize I may be more sub than dom. I know I could play either role easily enough but I've never really been with a woman who is more dominant than I am.

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I remember thinking "I just want one person I can devote myself to emotionally and physically and have it returned in kind". When I was dating in high school that was my mode of thought. Now that I've been married for years and we have decided to open our marriage for a number of reasons I find myself thinking those same thoughts but adding "when we are together or talking to each other." Clearly non monogamy has taken root in my thoughts but the point here as I see I am becoming sidetracked. Is wanting to be devoted to your partner rather than own or control them a sub trait?

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The next point of concern is decision making. I always ask whoever I'm with what they want and if they don't answer or make a decision I do it. I don't insist on always making decisions and am even relieved when someone else does but if no one else does I always do. Does this make me a sub? I would love to have a woman who could decide what she wants and then talk to me about it. We could either come to an agreement or in most cases just do what she wants because usually I don't care one way or the other about most things. I am very easy going for the most part.

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There are other things but those are the biggest ones that keep coming up. So the question is should I be seeking more dominant partners? I don't really look specifically for D/s relationships but it almost seems like it is an integral part of finding new partners. Everyone wants to know which you are and if its not a match you are immediately dismissed. Even in vanilla settings.

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TLDR; Is it a sub trait to want to be devoted to your partner rather than own or control them? Is it a sub trait to be reluctant to make decisions? Am I more sub than Dom considering these two preferences?