Background: Married to someone with low sexual compatibility, in an open relationship, finding myself sexually. Pee fetish that is not BDSM related. No orgasms caused by another person.

I recently met an attractive man on hinge. We hit it off because I had put something about sexual compatibility in my profile and then we got to talking. He described himself as a “dominant” and wanted to know about my limits (my hard limit is pain).

We had initially set a meeting that he canceled last minute, but we talked more and set a new meeting the next week. It started quite platonic and I was really questioning things because he was no where near as flirty as his texts.

I did eventually invite him back to my place and we got right to the sexual activity. To my surprise he started with me and he barely let me touch him before focusing on an orgasm for me. He did not give up. (I shared with him previously that most people give up on my orgasm but how it leaves me disappointed and without the sexual desire to even cum on my own after.) After I came he had me blow him a little and then we had some sex.

The session ended abruptly because I had a meeting, so I didn’t give him a very good goodbye, but we talked about seeing each other again. After my meeting I checked hinge and he had unmatched. So I messaged him and he got vey upset with me that I couldn’t take him at his word that we would see each other again. I pointed out it was a miscommunication and that I wanted to move on and see him again but he said he was no longer interested.

The whole experience left me very confused. The sexual control he had over me was something quite unique. I always assumed if someone was dominant or into BDSM that they would focus on their pleasure, not mine. But I guess it was quite dominant how he made me cum (for the very first time!!!)

Can you clarify what that dynamic was that the two of us had? I would like to find it again with someone new.