Edit: I am only looking for advice on how to improve clarity and quality. Other opinions are unwelcome.

(Edited to add updated manual)

Introduction
This 'user manual' is written as a baseline and to help me collect my experiences and reflections. I get easily flustered, sometimes struggle to word right, and am often forgetful and wanted to have something more comprehensive on hand than my kink list, limits, and bdsm test.

I am a brat and engage in bratting behavior. This is never intended to be malicious, but a playful struggle for power. I like the challenge and battle of wits. I find it mentally stimulating and it turns me on when I’m bested. I love it. I cave to authority and respect instructions or rules to the letter. I also bend them like Beckham. Skillful use of words and actions is necessary to manage this brat.

That said, I’m also very nurturing. I won’t pry into your personal life unless you’ve made it clear you’re alright with that, but I’m always here to listen and care for my Dom. I get that Doms are people too. If you need to vent just let me know if you want advice or someone to listen. I’m happy to do either! If you’re not up for a bratting session, just say so. I don’t mind relaxing and chatting.

Please remember to be focused on safety and education. If you aren’t familiar with a play style, let’s hold off until you are. This includes things like cross-contamination (nothing that goes in my ass goes anywhere else) and headspaces. If you aren’t sure, please be willing to learn and expand what you know.

What am I looking for?

Long term I'm looking for romance with a side of kink. I want someone who can make me submit, while still appreciating that bratting is an important part of how I engage in a dynamic. I don’t like making assumptions about relationships or dynamics and instead define the relationship at each stage. I want to trust I’m safe with my Dom, while still enjoying the fear of playing with fire.

I am bi-romantic and monogamous when I’m committed. While I have no sexual attraction to women, I might be open to a dynamic with another sub if I wanted to be involved romantically in the sub as well – and the majority of the time were shared with equal individual time.

I enjoy being a brat. It’s an important part of my dynamic, how I show affection and closeness, and I will never be a completely obedient slave.

Punishments

Funishments make me uncomfortable and I prefer a reassertion of dominance. I don’t enjoy being told I was ‘bad’ or ‘disappointed’ someone, and instead like to be reminded of my place when I initiate bratting. I view bratting as an agreement that if I misbehave, brat, or push boundaries, you are able to punish me and push my soft limits. I am not a pain slut, I am a stubborn slut. If I am excessively bratting or on a bratting high a timeout is acceptable despite being a limit (though you can also just safeword or ask me to stop and I will).

If a punishment is being issued, I don’t go light or take it easy - it’s part of the ‘agreement’. Please be aware of that if you are punishing with physical pain.

I need my Dominant to witness and be present through any punishment they issue, excluding written punishments. Their absence during punishments can cause me to feel uncared for, neglected, and sometimes unsafe.

Safewords

I use the color system and “stop”. However, if I become nonverbal or can only manage a “no”, pause and check in to make sure everything is alright. Offline I’m working on holding something I can drop if I need to stop.

Green – Everything is dandy.

Yellow – Don’t stop, just ease up.

Red – Stop

Hard Limits

• Scat, vomit, blood
• Extreme pain
• Body modification
• Needles, cuts
• Ripping nipple clamps off
• Indiscretion, violating privacy, invading privacy
• You may not access my social medias, share pictures of me, share pictures of my toys, or out me to my friends and family.
• Fisting
• Anything involving the tongue/mouth coming in touch with the ass or something that was in it prior to being cleaned.
• Saying I fucked up or am in trouble if I didn’t/am not
• Blatantly participating in BDSM around the general public
• Involving family
• Masks/hoods
• ABDL
• Breath play

Don’t ever bind, restrain, enclose, or otherwise restrict or limit my ability to move and lose sight of me. Ever. Don’t leave me there. There are no excuses for this, release me and pause the scene first.

Soft Limits (Things I do not enjoy, but might explore if comfortable/participate in as a punishment or re-establishing of dominance)

• Anal – This is reserved for my primary Doms
• Watersports
• Cages/Confinement
• Bathroom control
• Video and pictures (I have had my trust violated in people regarding pictures and video and am slowly working on regaining my confidence in being on camera). I don’t do it on command and I don’t give lewd pictures on command
• Insults to my intelligence. It works with some people, with most it doesn’t.
• Cold Showers
• Sleeping on the floor/in the closet
• Spitting
• Being ignored (If using it as a punishment please limit it to a small amount of time and don’t just ghost me for a week.)
• Eating from bowls on the floor
• Straight jackets/Swaddling/close body restraints

Kinks

• TPE
• Anal
• Cum
• Breeding (No pregnant)
• Free use (Ongoing consent with the exception of health and safety concerns)
• Public use (Online only for now, probably forever)
• Conditioning
• Healslutting (lewd gaming)
• Ravaging
• Sleep sex
• Doms ganging up on me
• Being groomed/waxed
• Degradation
• Praise
• Voice
• Fearplay
• Sensory play
• Pet play (I enjoy pet play to an extent. I have a kitten collar, but I don’t play with animal toys or eat off of the floor. Feeding me and petting me are fine and I love to curl up at their feet or in their lap.)
• Being firmly grabbed by the throat (but still able to breathe)
• Having my hair brushed, braided, and stroked

I enjoy being made to do things I don’t enjoy doing when dominance is being re-established. This includes soft limits (except anal, unless with a primary Dom) and deep throat or anal training.

Triggers

• Yelling

Don’t yell at me. Don’t yell at other people around me.

• Abandonment

I have abandonment issues. If you can’t meet something that was scheduled, please let me know beforehand. If you have to go, also let me know beforehand. If you are going to be busy, again let me know. Although I'm a needy slut I don't have unreasonable (or any) expectations on you time - I just need your presence or lack thereof communicated. Especially if I'm feeling small.

Aftercare

Unless a session was particularly emotional or intense and really pushed my limits with pain, I am generally good without aftercare. If I need it I'll ask for it. If you want to provide aftercare, I don’t mind that either. But if aftercare is provided it can’t be interrupted.

For aftercare I like being wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket in front of cartoons with food and water or having my subspace ‘shown off’ while I come down. Online this looks like displaying your dominance over me in group voice chats.

Other

1. If you break it, you fix it. I enjoy conditioning and TPE but before we engage in it I need a plan for removing any conditioning or structure/ritual if/when our dynamic ends. It should be enacted at the end of the dynamic.
2. Sometimes I become nonverbal.
3. I have full body orgasms. If it looks or sounds like I’m having a seizure, don’t be alarmed.
4. If I’m overstimulated there is a chance I’ll keep having orgasms. This can happen for a few hours after the overstimulation. It’s not something I can control. Please don’t punish me if this happens.
5. I show my appreciation and affection by giving gifts (physical or otherwise). We need to discuss your comfort level with receiving gifts. I don’t like receiving gifts unless I’m in a serious dynamic or relationship.
6. I have ADHD. I try not to get distracted and wander off, but it happens. Just give me a poke if it does.
7. On the subject of ADHD, small and specific tasks or instructions are best. “Wipe off the counters” or “Fold and put away the laundry” are better than “Clean the kitchen” or “Put away the clothes”. If you give tasks that are too broad or large I am likely to become overwhelmed and not complete them. Don’t do this, it will genuinely distress me if I fail a task like this.
8. Rules are best kept simple and limited to a few important ones, adding more on later if needed.
9. I love sleep calls and struggle to sleep without someone either on a call or in my bed. Don’t give me a bed time unless we have a plan for how I’ll be getting to sleep.
10. Sometimes I get to a place where I am so ‘afraid’ I hyperventilate or stutter. This is not a problem. In fact I am enjoying myself and you’ve done a great job. Just keep going!
11. Sometimes I will cry when I squirt or gush. Just reassure or comfort me, but there is no need to stop.

Commitment

I need a relationship defined and redefined at each stage, so I know what to expect and how it’ll affect what we are. Before then I don’t make assumptions of a relationship or dynamic and ask you not to, either. If you want something more, address it, otherwise I’ll assume you’re happy with where we currently are.

Honesty

I am not going to lie to my Dominant and I expect them to not lie to me. I might evade or distract. I might answer only the question asked and not any implied questions, or maliciously comply, but I will not lie. Not trusting me is going to turn me away.

Weak points

• Self-control (I rarely deny myself things I want)
• Schedules and general awareness of time
• Sleep (What is it?)
• Exercise (I mean to, forget)
• Deadlines and classwork
• Clutter and organization

Toys

· Rasputin (Hismith app-controlled sex machine)

· Lush 2

· Lush 3

· Hush 1.5”

· Ferri

· Mission

· Domi 2

· Clover clamps

· Magnetic barbell nipple clamps

· Assortment of dildos (will collect measurements later)

· ResearchandDesire WiFi deep throat trainer

· Butt plug (will collect measurement later)