Would appreciate some outside perspective on this. A little background on me - my fiance [25F] and I [30M] are both switches and relatively new to gentle femdom, and I am relatively new to being submissive in general. I have more experience being dominant in bdsm scenarios and I like to think I know the playing field pretty well, but I'm not sure how to feel about this situation.

I love being edged and teased (sometimes for hours), and I love being used as a plaything for my girl. But I've never been a fan of orgasm denial/forced chastity for a few reasons. On a practical level, I find it really hard to go to sleep when I'm super horny. If she's been playing with me all night I'm going to be VERY riled up. And on a more serious level, I feel that no matter what happens in the bedroom I should still have body autonomy, and that means I should be able to make myself cum if and when I want. I don't like the feeling of being denied agency over my own body outside the bedroom. It makes me feel demeaned (not in a good way) and a bit sad. I would never let anyone put a chastity device on me, for example. That would be a hard RED light.

3 nights ago my girl started playing with/edging me in bed while we were watching TV, which I really enjoy. She always tells me to let her know when I'm close so she can stop. This is not new to me and I'm all for it - not only is it fun and super pleasurable, but I also view it as a challenge. But typically, at the end of the night, she'll either decide she wants to join in on the fun and fuck me, or make me cum in other ways, or tell me to finish myself off while she watches. But this particular night, she didn't. Once our show ended she told me I could not cum tonight, or make myself cum all day tomorrow, and if I succeeded she'd give me a special reward. This was new to me but I was all for it, curious to try it out and very eager to find out what the reward would be.

I had a very hard time falling asleep that night, tormented by my raging boner. I was busy with work the next day so it wasn't too hard to resist. When bedtime came, she picked up right where she stopped and played with/edged me for several hours. And then... just like the night before, she stopped, and told me I had to wait another night.

My fiance is a great and understanding gentle domme, and I don't think I'd ever communicated my feelings about orgasm denial to her before (part because it never came up, and part because I hadn't fully realized them myself until now). I'm sure she had the idea or read about it somewhere and thought it would be something new and spicy for us both to enjoy. I honestly wasn't very happy about being left unsatisfied - for both reasons I stated at the beginning of the story - but I decided to keep my feelings to myself, trust my domme, and make her happy. Maybe this was a mistake and I should've spoken up sooner, but this didn't feel SO bad that I wanted to end the scene. On night two, it was more of a yellow light than a hard red.

Night 3 (last night) comes around... and you guessed it, more of the same. I think she was trying to see how long she could edge/deny me, and probably figured I would lose control and bust at some point. But I didn't. I was a good boy and stopped her EVERY time I got close. And then, just like the last few times, she stopped, and told me I had to wait again. This time, I finally did speak up, and explained to her my difficulties with the scene. I was struggling to sleep the last two nights, and more importantly, the lack of body autonomy/forced chastity was making me feel uncomfortable. I walked her through my perspective on the situation and why it was upsetting to me.

Hearing all this made her really sad. She said she wished I had spoken up sooner. I told her I was willing to play along and see where it went, but spoke up when it started to really bother me. I don't think she fully accepted that I WAS okay with it until tonight. She kept insisting I should've told her sooner and that I need to communicate better when something upsets me. That conversation ended up killing the mood, and we both decided to just snuggle up and go to bed. My forced chastity has "officially" ended today and I'm back to doing what I want with my body. All is well between me and my fiance. We're communicating well and we both agree to set aside forced chastity in future play. But she still thinks I was wrong to let something I didn't like go on for as long as I did. She insists she would've spoken up sooner.

I'm not sure I did anything wrong... I was curious and enthusiastic about the scenario on night one. I was a bit more wary on night 2 (more of a yellow light) but decided to play along. Finally on night 3 when I felt it would really start to bother me, I spoke up and communicated. But she thinks I should've spoken up as soon as the scene became uncomfortable. I'm not sure I agree, as I want the freedom to explore other scenes/situations I'm unsure about in the future. Who knows, I may decide I like them?

But part of me does feel guilty I didn't speak up sooner. I try to put myself in her shoes and imagine how I'd feel if I knew I was doing something to my partner (over the course of a whole day ) that didn't make her feel good. And I would probably be pretty sad as well.

Tl;dr - I played along with forced chastity with my partner despite not liking it, because I was curious and wanted to please her. I spoke up once it became too much, but she thinks I should've spoken up as soon as it became uncomfortable. Nobody did anything terrible and everyone is now fine, but who's got the right of it in this situation?