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New to BDSM Soft Dom w/ Brat Sub. Help?
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Hey all,

So my(30M) new partner(30F) has started a relationship (right before I move cross-country,) she is into the lifestyle and told me she wants to be dominated. We had one sexual encounter and a lot of it was learning and seeing what I was interested in. She is an experienced submissive/switch and took the lead for a while to see if I enjoyed submission, which fell flat for me. So I've been researching and talking to her a lot about it and she told me to research types of doms and figure out what I am to make sure everything is natural.

In my research, I have come to the conclusion I'm a soft dom, but don't quite understand how the dynamic of soft dom/brat sub plays out. For example, If I give her a task to do and she talks back or doesn't see what she gets away with; how do I "punish" her within a soft dom mindset? I've asked similar questions to her, and she told me I kind of need to figure out how I would do it. We've talked about boundaries, and she doesn't like being humiliated, and no damaging/marking pain. I don't mind giving her mild pain for faulting a task, but I don't know that it fits in the soft dom realm? I know not all doms are the same or one-dimensional, but I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around all the intricacies.

I guess what I'm really asking for are some ideas of punishments, examples from your soft dom/brat sub you are willing to share. If I can envision it in my head, I'll have a better idea of how to engage properly. I'm also interested in how this scenario works, long-distance, and not being able to make sure she follows through. Open to any and all advice, and thanks for your time!

Sorry for any errors or formatting, first post.

TL;DR: New to BDSM, decided I'm(30M) a Soft Dom, my partner(30F)(long-distance) is a brat sub. How does that dynamic work, and what does it look like in a scene? Any and all advice is appreciated!

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3 years ago