Hello there,

So I'm aware it's kind of a philosophic question. But I'll welcome any take on this.

I'll start with the TLDR excerpt, then go into more details for those who would like more informations.

TLDR : My mistress (30F) is quite stressed out by work. Hence, she's not in the mood for playing with me. But I'd like to present my submission as a way to release her stress, serving my needs while serving hers. And I wonder how I could get her to see it that way and be tempted to take on my offer on it. She does consider it an effort to dom me. And I'm sensible to the argument that domination is a gift, not the other way around. On the other hand, I see dynamics where I would feel adequatly submitted serving her every need and caring for her with quite no other effort on her part that domineering attitude. I wonder, in fact, if I could get her to like dominating me even more than I do serving her, and make it a care bubble she'd love to bath in, in stressfull times.

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Now for the panoramic route :

We are in early stages of our dynamic (being a vanilla couple at the core), having just experimented with casual scenes regularly in our sex life. It's more recently that I have opened a dialogue with her, meaning to explain my needs and cravings about being a sub at greater and more regular scale. She's welcome the thought, although it remains "my" fantasy.

Although I won't force it or insist on it much, I'd like to make it something she could want as much if not more than me. She said I made good and apealing points, about making it a very recurring dynamic. She's not very confident, and believe that dominating me more would be a good place to build "real world" confidence about herself. And she did realize she could get extra care with extra enthousiasm from me in everyday life , by demanding it in those ways (although I did insist she'd still get it in a very vanilla way, we're a couple and a team, I won't have her buy my care... I'll just enjoy it more with a kinky twist).

Now, the dynamic was on a very good test run, but work caught up to her and she's got less sexual bandwith right now. She's also quite self conscious about her apearence these days and not in a very domineering vibe.

So, I'm on the fence about the right attitude to adopt. I could back off, and let her come back to me naturally later when she's more relaxed. I know we will.

But I could take advantage of her stress to demonstrate how she could unload it on me. Make dominating me a real way of relaxing and being tended to. She gets pissed off at colleagues : I would suggest she exhaust that anger on me. She's stressed : I would offert on care for her and tend her every need. She feels insecure : I would offer her to witness her power on me and draw confidence from it. And so on.

I've not succeeded in making this point to her. I'm not sure there's one to make and I'm afraid to insist on it. But if could come across, I feel we'd make invaluable progress in our dynamic. Making our games more frequent and stress-resistant.

So, thoughts ?