Hi all, I’m sometimes struggle on how to treat my gf as a dominant. It’s probably because we’re in our early 20s and we’re still experimenting with our kinks. But I sometimes tend to be indecisive when it comes to how to treat her.

Some context might be needed for this. Our relationship is built on trust, respect, honesty and loyalty. If she says no (or any assigned safe word if we’re doing cnc related activities), it means no. I adore her to death and she does as well. I don’t wish harm on her, physically or mentally.

She can be a bit of brat and she’d do things to agitate me in order to get my tougher, dominant side to come out. I’m normally a DDLG type dominant, which means I tend to take control away from her and baby her. But sometimes, she prefers my sadistic, dominant side instead.

When we go outside, I’d command her to do depraved things, such as strip in public and change clothes in alley ways or wear see through clothing with no bra. Basically, turn her into a horny little slut who would flash someone on command. No matter how embarrassed she gets. This sort of treatment turns her on as she loves being degraded sexually in this manner. It also gives her excuse to wear trendy clothes worn by Instagram models. Sometimes I even tell her to walk around public areas topless, so that anyone can see how hot and slutty she is. I like showing off how hot my sexy little bitch is to others. Hell if I find a guy worthy enough to entertain us, I might let him have a turn with my girl if she’s comfortable with it.

At the same time, I don’t want random people to think she’s easy and take advantage of her or think shes a dumb whore asking to get used. I don’t want people disrespecting my girl. She’s a smart, classy girl who loves being my slut when I want her to.

My dominant side and my possessive side often come to conflict each other when my gf and I do go out.

I wonder if other people have the same issue.

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Edit: By public areas, I mean outside. Not necessarily in busy public areas but in areas like a hiking tail for example.

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Edit 2: My phrasing sucks ass. I don’t think I made myself clear and I understand how much confusion it has created. Haha, Reddit can be quite savage place when it comes to these sort of things.

I’d like to clear up the issue regarding the non-consent of the public. We go to isolated public areas and she strips her tops down so she’s topless, but she covers up with a jacket. This way she’s not breaking any law as she is still fully clothed, but she’s still exercising our kink as we both know she’s topless under her jacket. But this doesn’t affect the people around us, if there are any and the odd one or two people who end up seeing her aren’t going to give a shit about it.

You guys don’t seem to realise how commonplace these activities are nowadays. More and more women are wearing sheer tops with no bra outside, which is barely any different from having no top under a jacket. Do you think countless women get accused of abusing consent of random strangers?

If people don’t like it, they will either look away and go the other direction as they don’t want to make the situation awkward, they’ll probably smile or stare if they enjoy the view or they’ll complain. My gf and I have been doing this for a while and in numerous cities. People still have a choice regarding this matter. I don’t understand what you guys are getting so worked up over.

Also, the laws from where I’m from state that public nudity is a minor offence unless down in designated areas and only when reported. But it’s a very lax offence as people don’t seem to care about these laws as much nowadays. The only time this causes an issue is if said public nudity is accompanied with an aggressive behaviour, but that falls under a different category of public nuisance. People tend to get arrested for being a public nuisance, not as much for public nudity, especially when no one reports it. Laws regarding how a woman presents her body in public settings are slowly becoming obsolete. Her body, her choice. If you as a member of the public don’t like it, lower your gaze and move on with your day. If enjoy the view, enjoy it and move on with your day. It’s not rocket science.

I had more people complain about this on Reddit than I ever had in real life. It’s almost like some of you guys don’t go out and explore. If you do, you’ll see how kinky people actually are and how open minded society is nowadays.

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Edit 3:

A lot of people have asked about non consented exposure to the public. This is mostly because of my phrasing.

My gf sometimes becomes topless in public and covers herself with a jacket to hide herself if anyone else comes. She flashes me if we are isolated. She enjoys teasing me coz she knows I can’t do anything to her in public. If other people see her when she flashes me, it’s not an issue as it wasn’t her intent to flash them and they don’t care.

Regardless of that, not many people have answered the actual question.

For Doms in long-term relationships, have there been moments when you are confused by what to do your sub/brat? Like do you want to be a loving boyfriend or be the dominant? How do you balance it out? It would really help if you had an exhibition kink as well.