I’m a Domme with a lot of experience under my belt, but I haven’t been playing as much as usual this past year for obvious reasons and I’m struggling to help one of my subs figure out what her “goal feelings” are for our play.

In the past she mainly wanted to feel punished, but that has shifted and she’s having a hard time naming what she hopes to get out of our time together (but does want to play, just to be clear this isn’t a situation where I’m applying pressure). I’m super varied in the types of play I like (from soft and sensual to ultra sadistic and cruel), so I don’t necessarily have a specific style that narrows down the possibilities.

I’m attempting to create a list of some common target feelings/vibes to see if any resonate with her, and would love to hear from others. Subs- how do you want to feel when you’re being dominated? And Dominants-how do you like to make your subs feel?

I realize this is taking something that is multi-layered and complex and trying to simplify it but these are just prompts for further discussion with my sub.

What I have so far (hopefully this also clarifies what exactly I mean by target feeling): -feeling like a cherished toy -feeling used -feeling owned -feeling useful -feeling innocent -feeling exposed -feeling vulnerable (physically or emotionally) -feeling taken care of -feeling scared -feeling blank or moldable -feeling unworthy -feeling desperate