Though this isn’t strictly BDSM, I felt like this sub would have better advice than just r/sex.

Lately I’ve been stumbling across other people’s mentions of ruined male orgasms, and it inspired me to give it a try with my partner. Today I asked him if we could give it a go, and he said yes! I was stroking his cock and basically ended up unintentionally edging him a number of times, since I was trying to be careful to stop early enough. We were both having a great time, and at a certain point he confirmed that I could probably keep going just a tiny bit further. So the next time I got him as close as I dared, dead stopped, hoped for a few seconds I had ruined properly, and then suddenly he shot a very full load. He likes a bit of post orgasm torture, so I kept going, but also curious as to whether I could make him cum again. Usually he needs a recovery period, never really for his erection, but for being able to orgasm. But in this case, within maybe 3 minutes I was able to get him back to the brink, and then he came HARD. Not as much cum, but a really intense feeling followed by a lengthy comedown. Afterwards he told me that the first time he knew I had gone a bit too far, and he tried holding it in with his kegels. He really thought he’d held it enough for the feeling to pass, but as soon as he let go he shot his load (which took both of us a bit by surprise). Like a kink in a hose, we said 😋

So, some questions:

-When halting in order to ruin, do you stop all contact? I was keeping my hand always on his cock and with pressure, just no movement.

-Any tips for him? He got the idea for trying to hold back his cum from a Reddit thread I’d forwarded him :)

-I’m good at knowing generally when he’s about to cum, but nailing down just the right moment to stop is tricky! Any advice for me?

-Is it better to work on edging more first, and build up to ruining? Both are new to us.

Thanks for any and all feedback and advice!