We are two guys in our 20s and we've been together for about two years. It's been a bumpy relationship and we both have a bit of emotional baggage, but ultimately we love each other very much and see future together. The problem is my sub, instead of exploring new things and feeling increasingly more comfortable with me, seems to be shutting down sexually.

When we started we had long full blown sessions with a lot of impact play, humiliation, worship, emotional play and other stuff, but it's been steadily becoming more tame. While I enjoy a bit of good ol' vanilla now and then and understand the likes change, it just doesn't feel right. I'm also an explorer at heart: I want to keep experimenting and trying different things in all aspects of life, sex included, but it feels like I have to be begging my sub to do things that he used to enjoy and tell me he enjoyed, while now they all move towards the realm of 'meh'. God forbid trying new things.

I never fucked his ass. Well I tried once, on our second date, but it was without preparation, so I postponed it - but it's been over two years now and whenever I brought it up it was met with 'one day'. I bought chastity - he used to like elements of control outside of bedroom and would never touch himself without permission, so it was natural to try that. He worn it 2-3 times for short periods. He brought up ass worship as something he really likes. And he did, until he started complaining about it: first I had to be in underwear, then we wouldn't do it at all. But what worried me the most was that recently he said he's doing worship only because I like it, but he's not a fan. I mean that's one of the staples of our sessions and he's been enjoying it since like forever.

As I mentioned earlier, we're both a bit funny with emotions, bit anxious, got our walls up at times. But I'm happy to open up and be vulnerable, he's not. I know he's been through some difficult family stuff as a kid, but never gave me any details. I'm trying to be a nurturing, protective and understanding dominant, but more and more often it feels like he's not giving back or at least trying and my needs are not being met. It extends to other aspects of life too, but just in sex it's so damn clear. It's like that sub has real control and my sub is testing the limits of this control and renders the entire D/s upside down.

No idea what to do. Any suggestions? Anyone been through something similar?