Hopefully this isn’t too long. Apologies if it is.

My wife and I have been married for almost 28 years. For most of that time I think we were fairly equal in the bedroom, but I admit I’m the kinkier one. I’m usually the one bringing up new things to try.

It occurred to me that my wife has taken on more of a sub roll in the bedroom. She almost never initiates sex but also almost never declines it. She doesn’t ask or initiate switching positions. She’s not at all a starfish but I 100% run the show when it comes to sex.

Tonight after sex I asked and she admitted that she is sub in the bedroom and does want to be dominated (within reason). We’ve played with light bondage, spanking, blindfolds, and butt plugs. It’s been many years but clearly that gets her motor going. We are just starting to talk about wants, boundaries, etc.

I have no problem being dominant in bed except for verbalizing things. I’m confident in my actions, but not in my words. Is there someplace that lists some phrases or things to say that I can borrow from? I get tongue tied and feel like everything I say sounds silly. I can be dominant without a problem but using words to enforce my actions fail me once things get going.

Any advice is appreciated.