Last night, my partner rolled over as we were going to bed and said:

"Would you be interested in doing a...scene? I know vampire roleplay is very important to you. What if next time [housemate] was out of town, I was your thrall for a day?"

My immediate thoughts:

1. A whole day for a first scene is way too ambitious holy shit you are expecting too much
2. I was already planning a scene! You're sub and sub doesn't direct scene!!! *huff, huff, pout* You don't understand; so much to work out before we even --

I said we would do a smaller scene first and I would think about it.

My idea is to incorporate 2-3 activities (some she would like, some she would not), get her to explicitly state/write out her limits, tell her what activities will happen, practice technical skills AND THEN do the damn thing.

She thinks I'm taking things too slow and going too easy. "I appreciate that you want to be safe, but you can go harder, I want you to use me, I want you to take total control and do whatever you want," is her constant refrain.

The issue is: I think she thinks I'm a mind reader. Being a thrall for her probably means 'tell me what to do around the house, tie me up, maybe do some sort of hypnokink that we've never really explored and rail me for like an hour.' Enthralling for me means 'I want to embark on a systematic campaign of terror and pain, which you actively struggle against until exhausted, culminating in me actually drinking your actual blood and CNC sex.'

I don't want her to feel bored or unfulfilled. But I also don't want to be an actual tyro asshole just running roughshod over her. And I also want to experience actual power exchange instead of service topping/bottoming, which is what we've done so far.

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Doms: how much do you co-create a scene with your sub? Does it depend on if it is pick-up play, a long-term arrangement or in the context of a romantic relationship?

Subs: how much agency do you want in planning a scene? Does knowing what is going to happen ruin it for you? How do you prefer to communicate limits?

(General first scene experiences and tips welcome as well)