So I think that most of us can agree that dating sucks overall. And I'm making it incredibly harder on myself by also looking for someone who is child free and also familiar with this lifestyle. With that said, I've been noticing some patterns. So I am a bratty submissive and I'm keeping my eyes open for a Dom who has some history with Brat training. And even if he doesn't I just need him to not be opposed to brats. So far that hasn't been an issue. The biggest issue I'm finding is the pattern that's starting to grow with these conversations.

It's completely normal when getting to know someone in the lifestyle to discuss your kinks, your limits, and really just get to know the person. But it can't be normal to immediately start sexing. I'm noticing that these guys are very knowledgeable in the lifestyle, they say they have experience, and I tell them that I'm looking for this dynamic BUT within a RELATIONSHIP and they also say that they're fine with it. However every conversation after that is nothing but sex related. Just constant sexual talk. Now obviously we're going to have a conversation that might be sexually related, but for some reason I'm noticing that a lot of them just want you to help them get their rocks off.

I'm raising this question because I've come across a guy who isn't like this. He's very normal and respectful with the occasional spicy conversation. So obviously not every guy's like this, I'm just trying to get an idea of how common this is. Because lately it's been almost every guy I talk to. Online, offline, doesn't matter. I don't get why BDSM translates to sex for so many people. Just pure sex....

I don't know I'm just looking for some insights. It seems like a lot of people up here are already partnered so I just was throwing it out there to see what I get back.