I'm really struggling these days badly with my identity. I was born a non-sexual sadist. For background I'm a female, I was born with ASPD and that kind of personality disorder is more common in men and not in women. In fact, it's pretty rare for a woman to have it. Anyways, I've always been sadistic but in a non-sexual way. I'm also your typical everyday sadist. So when I hurt people I really enjoy it. I go out of my way to do horrible things to people. I have zero empathy and zero remorse. I also enjoy when people go through misery. Makes me feel good. Sometimes sexual sadism is hot to me, but for the most part, it doesn't do anything special for me. I'd say I identify as submissive in bed.. I feel like I'm an alien and so different from everyone else. It's hard being a sadist outside of the bedroom but then once I'm actually in it, I'm the complete opposite. I've struggled with this pretty much my whole life and I'm looking for advice because I feel insecure about it.