A guy, asking me point blank "..what, you want to know about our marriage or something? You want details? Why me and my wife fight?" and "ohhh, you just want clarity right? Just explained, or to make it make sense?". Being sat watching them discuss their marriage like a couple doing their best to stay well behaved for a therapist, kind of thing.

Other elements too: sleeping in between them in bed at night (or close to one more than the other), them being older than me and condescending/treating me like I'm much younger and more inexperienced, hearing them have sex in another room, or asking me to take a sexual role when one of them isn't there sometimes, or having sex next to me if we all shared a bed, but one/both of them say things like "don't worry, you like hearing it, right? He'll fuck you next, isn't that right X?". Like, kind of but not hugely including me.

But more the out of bedroom foreplay teasing things. The patronising about them being married, or me wanting to be involved in their relationship, or making me break rules the other set for each other, and me being peripherally involved in that too -- "why did you make her do that? I said no one could do that while I was gone.", "just because she did it for you doesn't mean you get a let off..she's not in trouble, you are".

And each partner spending time with me individually, telling me about the other partner and their frustrations/attractions, but in a hugely sexualised way (where we'd end up fucking). What..is this?

Edit: for this BDSM sub, I'm wondering if this might tie into some kind of psychological BDSM theme, so thought to ask here instead of r/sex as it's a little more taboo and power exchange-y.