I’m a bi male sub in my 30s. Romantically I prefer women however to feel the full catharsis of being dominated I prefer males.

Given that I like intense pain and humiliation, even if a dom likes or wants to give pain I find that if I react naturally, as things get intense, the dom inevitably will start asking if I’m okay, if they should keep going etc. I find this destroys the headspace in two ways: 1. I’m now feeling more control 2. The point is the inability (within agreed limits) to stop the person despite (at the moment) of course “wanting” it to stop.

The best example is Cbt. One can instinctively close one’s legs. I’m very sensitive so I instinctively protect my testicles. This is an attempt to “stop” it but the whole point of leg restraints is to allow it to continue.

So similarly, how can I better communicate to a dom, “look keep going for 2 min at this intensity, no matter how I freak out”.

FYI the above is what I communicate in advance but it just doesn’t work. Invariably the guy either sees my reaction and slows down or asks how I’m doing etc.

Any suggestions on communicating the experience I need?