Hello!

I am fairly new to lifestyle Femdom. I have a wonderful husband of 10 years and he is super supportive of my BDSM exploration including my relationships with my new submissive. We are an ENM couple. Prior to exploring BDSM we were actually involved in swingers spaces. We are no longer apart of that community. We have a deep trust and solid foundation of our relationship. He is also involved in the BDSM community as a rigger and service Top. He is not a submissive by any means so we agreed that it was best that I explore a D/s dynamic elsewhere. I was just wondering for those that are Dominants with submissives who are not your spouse, how do you balance the two? What kind of dynamic do you have with your submissive? Are you able to manage a demanding dynamic or is it more of a play partner kind of dynamic, etc? I see that many of you in this group are in more long term relationships and marriages with your submissives. I was just very curious about the experiences of those that are not in long term relationships with your submissive and how you manage being a Dominant outside your primary relationship?

I guess what I’m inquiring about is navigating a more platonic D/s relationship. I am not looking for a romantic partner outside of my husband. Being married and ENM gives me the freedom for some sexual kink, but I have no interest in a FLR romantic relationship with my sub. I am not poly. I want a consensual power exchange dynamic. So I’m just wondering for those with a D/s outside their marriage where your primary partner is not a submissive, is the D/s dynamic outside the marriage more session based or is it intertwined in your daily life? I just want a small snapshot of what that looks like for you and how you balance both.

This question isn’t necessarily geared towards specifically female Dominants. I appreciate any advice and insight that male dominants have as well!