Sorry for the long details I'm not trying to be a negative person or hate other dynamics not judging either i respect their ones and opinions but, BDSM is something that i loved so long Things that i drove to this dynamic are, 1.Being mischievous and getting punished
Because in real life i follow rules to the fvking T But the punishments that i mean here is actions that mixed with pain&pleasure both me & my D would enjoy If i consider paddling i may get pleasure from getting sexually turned on or maybe it's not the act itself but submission ,the dynamic that make the room hot, getting reprimanded stepping out line and the control of the punishment But it doesn't lower the pain of impact i know it makes me fear to step out line for a while .... for both of me and my D, .the psychological release .dominanting someone Or being dominated .knowing i'm fear to step out as my D and him getting pleasure by inflicting that pain and fear .cathersis .at least enjoying a dynamic that have punishments 2.Bondage,impact play,other kinks and masochism But after reading these articles from online websites now i'm losing my interest slowly because of some questions and fears

I thought the submissive partner in any BDSM scene is actually the person who holds the majority of the power because they have the power to stop any scene through the use of their safe word but, "MISUSING SAFEWORD" A-"Using your safeword often is shameful and distrusting of your partner" "You can misuse a safeword if you try to use it to drive the scene or control what your partner is doing"

"PUNISHMENT WITHOUT SAFEWORD" O writer -"But anyways, back to my original point. I saw being able to receive punishment without having to have a safe word in place as a huge sign of trust, not something I would do with just anyone" "if one never feels comfortable about receiving punishment without a safe word, there’s nothing wrong with that either." "whether you have a safe word in place fully depends on the punishment. If your punishment is writing lines or a report(been there done that one too!)or something else along those lines, I believe there’s really no need for one"

A writer-"Discipline comes in all shapes and sizes. For our relationship, it’s apology, corner time and cane strokes. I get corner time for most of the infractions that warrant more than my proper apology. I hate corner time. I think what I hate most about it is that I’m not getting any attention."

"It's grounding and having privileges taken away. It sucks, but it also works."

"When you are being punished for breaking a known rule, say staying up past your bedtime, then you have to atone for it. If a spanking is how you atone, then you Dominant will make the decision of how many strikes or how the punishment will work. You are learning a lesson, not getting ready for play. So, while your Dominant will not cross your limits during punishment if you safeword to try to get out of being punished then you aren't learning anything and showing, sometimes, a disrespect of your partner's trust"

Do i have to do things that i don't really want but i have to do it just because i choose to be in this dynamic ? A-"my current relationship asking to orgasm came right on the heels of having to call him Master" "I'm a lucky submissive in that I can masturbate whenever I want.. but I know that he could withdraw his permission at any time, for his own enjoyment."

D- "I want you to try to wait for me to tell you to come when together" to "You need to ask permission to come when you're masturbating as well" to "This is now what we do always forever and ever"......"End our D/s dynamic and regain my rights to masturbation and to orgasm at my choosing, or live by his rule" "When we decided to live as Master/slave"....... "I knew negotiations would be off the table for orgasm control so I didn't even mention it"

Is bdsm always about top's pleasure? A -"It was a long hard road. I made mistakes, some small, some very large. I almost permanently damaged my relationship with KnyghtMare a few times in my growing process" ""The one punishment I’ve been through was really rough. It’s been almost 2 years. I remember it like it was just last week. I thought our relationship was done for. I had broken his trust and I didn’t know how to gain it back. I’m happy to say that I have" "..if you have punishment then shouldn't you have rewards? Well, the simple answer is maybe... Just because you've agreed to have your bad habit squashed and to follow the rules or face the consequences doesn't mean that your Dominant has to reward you for good behavior also. Now, I don't know any Dominants personally who don't dote upon the one's they care for anyway You are an adult. Being successful in your relationship and life, in general, should be reward enough don't you think?" Note: i'm 20 , never had a partner & i want to get rid of this fear