So to preface, I'm (24M) a gay bottom and I was in this online friend group for over a year. We grew close, it was a safe space to talk about anything without filter, especially sex. We have talked about it numerous times, talked about our kinks and everything. I have mentioned CNC was one of my kinks and they acknowledged it but were never bothered, until now.

Yesterday someone asked everyone to describe their fantasy in a detailed manner. I say that I have already written mine, they asked to read it despite my warnings. I should say many of the group members are vanilla girls who still love to learn about bdsm but aren't interested in participating (not to vanilla shame in any way, it's just to provide context).

What happened after everyone read it was that they were freaked out and they said I was fucked up. One girl said it was disrespectful to all the women in the world because they live in fear their entire lives of being raped. And it didn't matter that I had to say I fully do not condone it and would burn myself before I hurt anyone, or that in my fantasy I was on the receiving end, or that CNC is only role-play between consenting adults. They were beyond scared and felt unsafe around me as if I was lumped among rapists and rapist apologists and it breaks my heart that they'd think of me that way.

And look, I'm not trying to villainize them, they're in their right to feel disturbed by something they're not comfortable with. I just feel sick to my stomach to be misunderstood and that I hurt people I cared about. And I put my trust in this space I felt safe in.

So I guess it's a cautionary tale if you ever find yourself in a similar position? I wonder if anyone here has been in this position and how have you dealt or coped with it? I would appreciate any advice, thank you.