Odd question. I’ve been interested and taken part in some light bondage and things of that nature (vanilla with sprinkles?) with a partner. I enjoyed it.

My current partner is not particularly into it. I had a period of low libido so didn’t worry about it. Embarrassing…but lately I started to read some fairly dark BDSM romance that is way beyond simple bondage….and it has had my heart unnaturally light.

However…I don’t know if that kind of fantasy translates to reality. When he saw something of mine on reddit, he kind of recoiled and said “I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.”

I need to have a conversation with him about my known low grade kink. But how do i know if I really want the heavier stuff if my partner isn’t interested? I don’t want to ask him to do dom-ish things unless I’m fairly sure. I asked about an open relationship so I could try to explore, and that got shot down.