Hey y’all, I’ve posted on here a few times and always gotten helpful feedback so I figured this was a good place to ask for feedback:

I (22M) am in discussions with a potential Dom (25M) about a more involved dynamic between the two of us. I want to take things slowly and with an overabundance of communication and time to work out any potential issues before we lock into any kind of arrangement long term. I’ve been hurt before, and we both have pre-existing trauma/issues that we want to address/work around before what could start as a small issue or misunderstanding or miscommunication snowballs into a big relationship train wreck.

He is the more experienced of the two of us, and has told me that he wants things to move at my pace due to me being both the less experienced and the more cautious of the pair of us. We are both polyamorous/practice ENM, and so that is also something we have to take into consideration as we move forward.

At the moment, this is what I’m thinking of:

• Both parties must fill out several likes/dislikes charts to be exchanged with one another. These documents can be amended/updated at any time and will include: Kink likes/dislikes, Dynamic likes/dislikes, a list of triggers, a list of hard limits, a list of “needs” in the dynamic/relationship, a list of aftercare needs, a list of things that will help in the event of a drop, and a list of things that each of us feel like the other needs to know but don’t fit into any of the other categories.

• Prior to implementing the new dynamic, he and I will read each other’s lists and then sit down and discuss what we want our dynamic to look like, and how each of us plans to make the dynamic work while also respecting our other partners. Everything discussed and agreed upon will be recorded in a document- which both parties have access to- that will outline the details, roles, and expectations of each of the two of us. This will include a list of times/places when our dynamic shall apply, and times/places when it won’t. It will also include a list of boundaries that, if broken, will allow for an immediate and unilateral nullification of the dynamic by the injured party. The document will also include rules for the dynamic, and will signify the beginning of a “trial period” for the dynamic.

• A “trial period” of no less than three months will be imposed, where we figure out what we want this dynamic to look like between the two of us. This period would involve at minimum weekly meetings between the two of us to discuss how we are feeling, what each of us feels is working, and what each of us feels like needs to change. Changes made and agreed upon will be recorded in a document. This will also be a time to make sure that our dynamic is compatible with our polyamory and any commitments to other partners. If at any time either of us feels like things just aren’t working or that a dynamic is not right for us, it can be called off with no hard feelings and we will go back to dating in the vanilla sense of the word. During this trial period, the sub will wear a temporary collar that does not lock and can be removed at any time by the sub.

• Once the trial period is over- signified by a two month or greater period without any changes needing to be made to the dynamic outline document- then he and I will sit down and discuss moving forward with a locking day collar and a finalized copy of the dynamic document. The document will still allow for changes and amendments as needed, but both parties have agreed on what we want the roles and duties of the Dom and the Sub to look like and are ready to make that “official”.

• Each party will be provided with a copy of the document, and the weekly meetings will continue until both parties feel comfortable moving them to an as-needed basis. Any document amendments will be discussed and agreed upon before being applied to the dynamic document.

What I want to know is this: does this seem like an appropriate way to go about making a dynamic work? I want to have all my bases covered, but I also I’m worried that I’m being a little overkill with all of this. I’d love and appreciate any feedback anyone has for me, along with any suggestions for forms/charts that would work for the likes/dislikes/needs/limits part of the process. Thanks in advance!