She has a difficult time feeling like she's good at things.

She will cook, and be upset that I'm not as automatically responsive from eating other foods.

She will play video games, and be disappointed with herself if she takes too long or doesn't play well.

She wants to be poly, but often compares herself to others and feels strong jealous and insecurity when I begin talking with others.

Those are three immediate examples, but there's a general feeling of "I'm not good enough/I'm bad at things" that comes up.

When it does, I'm at a loss. I tell her honestly of where she was and how she's progressed, or that I'm proud that she's taking breaks when she needs them.

But it still seems like if something comes up with a challenge, and she doesn't succeed in a timely/"good enough" manner, she will beat herself up.

I'm reminded of a scene from "The Secretary" (IIRC) where he encourages her to let go of the self hating thoughts (maybe that's encouraging her to take a walk, and her "letting him guide her thoughts").

I want to find a way to help her train her mind in a way that's not "bad/difficult thing happen > emotionally overloaded/self loathing".

I know a lot of that will be practice. But I want to do more to help her navigate this. I'd like to think having proper outside forces (conditioning of sorts, reinforcement of some sort, idk) will help her be kinder and more realistic with herself.

Has anyone here managed to work through something like this?