I (29F) have always been a kind of dominate woman. I’m confident and always in control. A couple years ago I noticed that I wasn’t really turned on by submissive men. I always wanted a man to just step up and take control which contradicted my day to day. But after some reading and research I figured I wanted a Dom. I wanted to give up the control and power I’d worked so hard to hold onto. I took the bdsm test and it said I was a brat/submissive/degradee. I don’t like many other aspects of the life though. I don’t share and I don’t like pain (unless it’s spanking) and I’m not into ropes.

My main issue is that I still don’t feel like I belong in this community. Most men who try to be dominant towards me make me laugh. Like it doesn’t feel like they actually could put me in my place. I’ve only been turned on by dominant men in theory, not in practice. I thought maybe it was a trust issue. Like maybe I needed to find a dom that earned my trust enough to give control. But most guys (I joined Feeld) have just been aggressive or sent pics. I went in thinking doms would be more selective and maybe willing to earn the trust of a sub before they jumped into things. I’m probably just naive about the reality of the life.

I guess maybe my question is does it sound like I don’t actually belong in this community? It makes me feel like I’m actually just vanilla and desire a little spice. I feel like I’m an imposter.