Hello, hope things are going well for everyone reading. So for some perspective Ive been into BDSM for a long time but only actually started searching for a relationship involving kink for about a year now. I have no experience with actually doing anything in person and have been struggling to find a Dom for the last year. I live in the city, just came back home after being away for a couple years and decided I should look for a partner. Alright so I start looking, I'm a submissive man, I think I'm fairly attractive, I workout, have my shit together everything is cool.

Well I have no luck finding a Dom. I think I'm going about it the right way. I want to actually get to know the person before we do anything. I want to actually setup a date thats in a public space, a restaurant etc for both their and my safety. I'm very genuine about what I want, and what my kinks are and am even very open minded about what my possible partner might like.

I'm sure almost everyone has run into their fair share of scammers and such when looking for a partner. But I have run into nothing but scammers, people that want tributes, people that are pro dommes. I think it's fine to be a pro domme but it's not at all what I'm looking for. I even had two people try and blackmail me when I first started looking. I've learned not to be so trusting with people I talk to since then.

In total I have gone on dating apps, some normal, some kink specific. I have posted personals on Fetlife, some personals on reddit. Ive been to some Munch's and just can't seem to find anyone.

What am I doing wrong. Any advice on this would be super helpful. Please feel free to ask any questions.