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Basically the title, I told him about a fantasy I've had for years. He said it was disturbing. We had a couple of hours together but he couldn't touch me for the rest of the time (he always needs space when he's upset. he gets very overwhelmed.) He wasn't trying to be mean, but ... yeah. It didn't go well.
And now I won't be able to talk to him again until Monday so I'm just kind of ... worrying. I don't think it will be a big deal once we can talk it out, but in the meantime I'm getting all in my head about it.
So, I could really use some stories of times where something similar happened to other people, but then it all worked out fine. Please share some with me haha
My Dom and I share fantasies all the time and some are SO dark but feeling accepted and heard is so important. I’m not sure what the fantasy is, but unless is it’s seriously illegal (CP), I feel like a reaction like that is unwarranted. This complex relationship requires acceptance and open communication. And I’m the queen of fucked up fantasies, so I definitely understand how vulnerable they can feel. I’m not sure what to say here, but for me, judgment is NOT OK and I would lose all trust and comfort. Good luck.
Yes. I understood your point and it’s well taken. Even if you don’t want to or can’t have the fantasy (so not necessarily a “yum”) your partner should still understand/listen/accept and not treat you poorly. ☺️
Oh man. I have more “battle stories” of going through those tough things bc…I have just a few limits. 🙈 one of my limits is needles, and He teases me that He’s gonna use me as a pin cushion. I know He never will violate that limit, but He uses it for fear play now. 🤦♀️ (not a limit) but FFS, I’m not sure which is worse at this point. 😂
I absolutely agree and I’ll certainly grant the same grace.
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It’s not even what they necessarily like…I have dark fantasies about being killed etc…I don’t want to practice them for obvious reasons, but I can tell my Dom. I can ask Him to “murder me” and then play dead but that is the extent of the fantasy…point is, I don’t feel judged or shamed…that’s a HARD LIMIT for me. 🤷♀️