My Daddy Dom and I have been taking a break from our dynamic due to some extenuating circumstances. While we have been on this break, we've been discussing what we want our dynamic to look like whenever we revisit, what worked, what didn't work, etc.

One thing that has come up is that we tend to end up in a communication spiral, where I don't ask for something like a spanking because I don't want to bother him or cause him to overextend himself. Then because I'm not asking, he thinks I don't want it. Then he doesn't do it, which reinforces to me that he doesn't want to do it and I shouldn't ask...and so on. One of the reasons we put our dynamic on pause was that I felt like he wasn't doling out punishments and funishments with the frequency I wanted, which was making me feel abandoned. I think this communication issue was the main culprit for that.

My question is: are there ways we can ask for things in-dynamic in the moment, so that we both can be sure the other person is interested in whatever we're doing? I think we both need to build our confidence a bit and feel more comfortable that yes, the other person is onboard. Are there specific phrases you use to check in with your partner mid-scene?

Edited to add: thank you all for the responses! I wanted to clarify: we are great at communicating out of dynamic. We brainstorm and have lots of fun designing scenes. It is when we finally see each other and it's time to play that we both get a little shy.