What fears, anxieties, self confidences, insecurities, self loathing, etc reared their ugly little head up when you started getting involved in the BDSM Community?

I'm dealing with a lot of feelings of insecurity and anxiety right now with getting into the BDSM Community. I pretty much have always had these issues and have been able to fake it throughout my life for the most part. Sometimes it's a little noticeable, but generally most are unaware of how much I'm struggling to feel sure of myself. Feel natural in my skin. This is not true as of right now. It is blatantly obvious.

No one has done anything negative to warrant this response, and it essentially nothing to do with the activities. It's strictly the nature of the exchange. And if you got shit in the way, it's going to make itself known.

We learn these defense mechanisms to survive our childhood, but now those are hampering us from gaining the life we want.

Can anyone relate? Has anyone had nothing like this experience whatsoever? Was there some other stage of your life that brought up issues before getting involved in the BDSM Community?