I’m a 21 y/o queer AMAB person. I’ve had a hypnosis kink for my entire life. This developed at the same time as I started realizing my queer sexuality. I lived in a religious household so I had a hard time accepting myself (and I still think I don’t fully accept myself). During the pandemic, this hypnosis kink grew more intense and weird. It expanded to stuff like pee, gainer, and gooner kinks through hypnosis. I never went too far because I always caught myself doing those things and feeling disgusted in myself. At the same time, the trend of “bring kink shaming back” was in full throttle. I started feeling that shame at the same time as my kinks developed. This time however, it didn’t come from religion but from other queer people. The things is that I think they’re right in some cases. I think piss kinks are unhygienic, gainer kinks are destructive, etc. Especially gooners and its destructive mentality. I also thing the whole gooner community can be creepy. I’m seeing people getting off to celebrity deepfakes which I don’t agree with at all. At the same time that these beliefs grew stronger I got into weed and poppers. It started becoming a problem when I mixed weed, poppers, hypnosis, etc. I am ashamed because I know my friends would leave me if I told them about all of this and I would do the same. It’s weird some of the stuff I’ve seen and it disgust me sometimes. This whole thing has kept me apart from people. I feel like I’m living a double life. Like I’m hiding this disgusting part of me. I don’t know if I should accept my kinks or regulate them or try to never engage with them. My guess would. Be the answer lies someone in the middle but I don’t even know where to begin.