I’ve (25f) never had any in person dynamics but I had one online that ended very bittersweet a while ago. He was a nice man but sort of signed out of our emotional connection when I needed him most and then we tried to rekindle but the damage was done. He said he was too scared to “hurt me” again and that basically drove us apart awkwardly before I ended it. It was online anyways. But through out the dynamic I remember him always saying how he has nudes of other women/subs, he asked me could he even have a physical dynamic, and right after we reconnected he tells me how he has other “littles/subs” he cares for as well. I just feel like everything goes back to me not being sexual, or having sexual experiences and it’s making me feel terrible. He never explicitly said that but I knew it was a huge factor. I’m not sure what to do..? I can’t help the fact that I’m a virgin or need proper trust and bonding. But I also feel like due to my looks (poc/plussize/bbw) that I’m making things even worse by not meeting these other requirements. Like I’m a part of the community but I can never fully be in the community.