I didn’t really realize this but my fantasies for my partner are kind of completely at odds. It’s like a want a partner that I can laugh with and be gentle with and genuinely love. AND I want a slave that is subject to my must perverted desires. I fantasize about taking a girlfriend on picnics and then I fantasize about putting them in some pretty hardcore bondage. I feel like I’m almost fantasizing about two completely different people. I didn’t even realize I did this tell I told a pen pal about it. I was just wondering if anyone else has felt this way. Maybe it feels more extreme to me because I’m a sexual sadist and fantasy about breaking a rebellious sub’s spirit while also fantasizing about nurturing and be nurtured by someone.