Hello community I searched for this group because I have some questions and wanted to hear from other hopefully similar people on how they navigate things. I’m 21 and I live in Hawaii over the years I’ve had some hookups here and there, my first time was very lovey dovey and vanilla, then it got more and more intense with each hookup, starting from things like spitting and light slapping to drawing blood from biting and scratching and name calling/degrading, golden showers and rimming all introduced to me by my partners. But lately for the last month and half I’ve been fantasizing about something that makes me feel like different or broken somewhere, I’ve been fantasizing about degrading women to the max like punching kicking and cnc, I DO NOT want to hurt random people or do something someone wouldn’t enjoy or consent to, but when I think about Punching or slapping a woman, abusing her and she smiles back at me in enjoyment I fell a thrill and rush of excitement. I’m just confused a bit and need advice please help😞