I’m dating again and speaking to potential doms. Something that seems to keep happening is, when I meet someone into the same things as I am but from the other side of the slash, I get very nervous.

I know it’s hypocritical and really doesn’t make sense. I know I need a compatible dom to do the things I dream of doing. I know if I’m a good person and I like these things in bed then they can be good too. But I still just start getting anxious.

So far I’ve only been with dominants into these things who were already friends or close friends of friends, so I had established they had good character long before I knew specifics of what taboo stuff they were into. But it’s tripping me up with dating new to me people

What is this weird fear? How can I manage it or work through it? (Edit: please no dms. Just hoping for advice in the comments)